I have discovered that by being mindful of the language I use - and using positive language - modifying negative thoughts really changes my mood and outlook.
negative examples: I don't want to smoke.
positive: I want to live a long healthy life. I can live smoke-free.
negative: I don't think this relationship is working out.
positive: I think it's best we both go our separate ways.
disempowering language: I don't have enough time.
empowering language: I make time for things that are important to me.
The difference between winners and losers in this life is losers focus on what they don't want, don't like, fear, phobia, et al - get the picture? Winners focus on what they want. With empowering language one is taking responsibility for more than is possible with disempowering language. Even if you think this stuff is bunk, I challenge you to try it - it's free!