Dave's New Invention #01

PUG BATH

A pug bath is this: you fill a bath tub with little pug puppies.  Then you get into the tub carefully making certain not to squash the little dogs.  The excited pugs then lick you clean.  If you don't like being licked by a dog or are allergic to them, then obviously this isn't for you.  Do not fill tub with water!

The idea for this came from my mom's pug Mikey - he licks obsessively.  I know some people will find this 'invention' cruel.  By no means am I suggesting the dogs need to be harmed.  If anything, they should be quite compliant and reliable but rounding up enough pugs to fill a bathtub could be difficult.  You might need to go on craigslist although you're just as likely to find a sociopath as a pug owner.  

Also this might be against the law in your city, state, country or province.  I would advise writing an inquiry letter to municipal, state, and federal government in your respective place explaining Pug Bath, that it poses no harm to pugs, and is beneficial to humans.  If you need a sample letter, send me an email.

Someone asked me if they could substitute, other breeds if there are not enough pugs in the local community.  That is possible but I like to keep pugs with other pugs for aesthetic reasons.  You can't have a real "Pug Bath" with a labradoodle thrown in there.    

How to be a life coach...

A bit of humor for the boys in the pub. Whenever I tell lads in the pub that I am a life coach inevitably I am asked "How does one become a life coach?" In order to expand the understanding of this new professional field allow me... There are 5 things you need to be a life coach.

First, in order to be a life coach one must BELIEVE he is a life coach. So when someone asks you what you do for a living, you don't say, "I'm unemployed" but "I'm a life coach!" Say it without any irony.

Two. Business cards. I nicked this idea from another coach but it's true. What goes onto your card? Buy my e-book "How to be a life coach" for details.

Next. You will need communication devices such as A4 paper, ball point pens, phone and computer to write things and record your earnings. See my e-book to find office suppliers near you.

Four. You need a website and blog. Check!

Lastly, in order to be a life coach you need to have many books written by other life coaches, gurus, psychologists, whatever... If you can't be hassled to read, jut watch Star Wars trilogy... as well buy my e-book "How to be a life coach".

Congratulations, you are well on your way to being a LIFE COACH.